Grammar: Giving and Receiving

あげる／あげます

あげる is used when the speaker is giving something to someone else. The item moves away from them. So I can give flowers to a friend (私は友達にはなをあげます。) or Ella can give Kara a pencil. (エラさんはカラさんにえんぴつをあげます。)

• あげる is a ‘safe’ choice of verb when taking social dynamics into account. However there are other choices if you want to be more specific about the recipient’s social standing. さしあげる is used when the recipient is of higher standing and やる is used when the person receiving is of below the giver.
• に marks the recipient.

くれる is used when the speaker, specifically, is given something something. The item is coming towards the speaker. So Sophie gives me a pair of gloves would be an appropriate example. (ソヒさんはてぶくろをくれます。) You could add 私に, but it’s not necessary as the use of くれる signals that the item is coming to you.

You can also use くれる when the recipient is someone close to the speaker e.g a family member or close friend. So if the doctor gave my mother medicine, (医者は母にくすりをくれました。) that works.

• If the giver is the recipient’s social superior, くださる may be more appropriate.

もらう／もらいます

もらう, unlike the previous verbs, has no specific targets and means ‘receive’. Be careful, に here marks the giver. So in this case, I receive sweets (私はおかしをもらいます。) and Lucy can receive a present from Laura (ルシさんはローラさんにプレゼントをもらいます。)

• If the item is from an organisation (e.g. a school), then から is used instead of に.
• If no specific giver is shown, then もらう can often be translated to ‘take’.
• もらう can be used in almost all situations without causing offence, unless it’s super super formal. (In which case いただく might be a better choice.)

Practice